Some people have asked why I took up blogging again. A few years ago, I gave up social media for Lent and enjoyed it so much I never really came back. But one of my New Year’s resolutions this year was to write more, so here I am. The weird, “fake news” titles are lifted off of Pinterest and are funny to me. But you may have to have a sense of humor like April Ludgate to appreciate it. Ahem.
Three Totally Normal Ways To Combat Anxiety:
Cold Showers: A few years ago a friend of mine was going through a hard time, and as I tried to help her, I found that instead of being a supportive person, I started to drown with her (turns out “putting on your own oxygen mask first” is a lot harder than it sounds.) Someone suggested the “Wim Hof” method. I assumed this was a new version of hot yoga or a long lost ancient form of meditation. Instead I was surprised to find out it’s the name of a grizzled old Netherlands dude who lost his wife to depression and suicide years ago, and has been working with research scientists ever since. You can get the basic gist here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Np0jGp6442A Basically you over oxygenate your blood with deep breathing and then get into ice cold water and control your breathing. Not only did it reverse my downward spiral, it accidentally also cured my PMS. It’s not possible to do the cold shower part here in Southern California during the summer (when the coldest shower water is still warm), but since it’s still March we’ve got a few more good months of WimHoffing left.
The Tiffany Aching Trick: Terry Pratchett may be one of the greatest sci-fi/fantasy authors of the 20th century… or at least one of the most witty ones. His books are like classic SNL meets Hogwarts. But I digress, in one of his children’s books the main character is a young witch name Tiffany Aching. She does this trick when she’s stressed or worried, where she stops and looks at herself from the outside to notice all of the details and get some clarity. You can read the grown up, non magical version on this in a book I read called Gorilla Mindset, but you should be forewarned: My husband and one of my best friends said the information in it was obvious and stuff they do without even thinking about it. I however needed the step by step instructions. First, next time you are happy stop and “capture it”. Notice where the blood flow is going, what your muscles are doing, where your bones are oriented on top of each other. Second, set that whole body thing back up the next time you feel anxious. It’s pretty easy, but difficult to remember to do. It’s more fun to read the Tiffany Aching books.
The Jane Austen Exercise: This can be customized to any favorite era. I can’t remember which book I got this idea from, but it was definitely from some very non-interesting book whose title will occur to me as soon as I try to go to sleep tonight. Basically it said, when you’re having a bad day or feel like you’re spiraling, to imagine that you have a force field all around you, or you’re wrapped in some sort of invisible bubble wrap that nobody can get through, or envision yourself having very thick banana skin. That didn’t work for me at all (all I could think about was star wars and food), but it springboarded an idea that does work. I run everything through a Jane Austen filter to see if it’s still worth worrying about. “I’m running late, the car’s out of gas and half the children forgot their shoes” turns into “Forgive me dear Edith, the horse threw a shoe. Farrier’s these days are so unreliable. And look at these adorable street urchins I’m ministering to for the day.” (Note: this only works on minor issues, if you try it on big issues and find yourself being held captive by a sociopathic Mr. Wickham, then you probably aren’t over-reacting).