I am not particularly fond of guns, and do not have a ton of experience shooting them. That and the fact I struggle with PTSD from the one time my baby’s diaper exploded in rush hour makes me an (obviously) unmitigated expert on firearms.
I am also married to a misogynistic man-beast who forces me to cook him pot roast and learn how to safely operate one of those dreaded AR-15’s everyone is talking about (Since he’s reading this, I feel compelled to confess I do much better with the pot roast).
So on the merit of these impressive credentials I have no choice but to join the fray of experts and tell you the TRUTH ABOUT AR-15 RIFLES:
AR-15’s are to guys what barbie dolls are to an 8 yr old girl.
I know this is going to be a huge disappointment, but "AR" doesn’t stand for assault rifle and AR-15’s are plain Jane, regular ol’ semi-automatics. This was a surprise for me too. I really thought they looked a lot scarier than that. Switching to another super relevant toy metaphor, imagine it’s a Mr. Potato Head and the “potato” is the “gun” part. A hunting rifle is also a potato. A home defense gun is a potato. A sporting rifle is a potato. A fully automatic assault (military) gun is not a potato...it's conversely a beet...or maybe a rutabaga? The cool thing about the AR-15 is that unlike the hunting rifle and such which just exists as a potato, with the AR-15 you can stick on a knobby green nose, or a big mustached nose...angry eyes...googly eyes...long spindly arms...arms holding a purse… you get the idea. (maybe I should have called this “How AR-15’s are really Mr. Potato Heads). The point being, AR’s are totally customizable (except for the potato part, the potato part has to legally stay a potato or they put you in jail and take away all of your googly eyes).
Why would anyone want a fully customizable potato? I wonder the same thing. But I guess it’s the same reason I could spend hours playing with Princess Barbie as a child... taking off rubber high heels and switching out that sporty tennis outfit for a dazzling ball gown. And it's the same reason our kids spend hours building Lego spaceships that resemble a flying toilet with chickens hanging off it. My husband says that there are totally credible reasons why you would choose a threaded barrel over a crowned one, or a two-piece hand guard over a free-float hand guard, but I think he’s just saying that because deep down we all love shiny new things...I just prefer mine in the form of vitamix blenders and double strollers.
So there you have it. Judge not lest ye be judged? Jewel-Hair-Mermaid Barbie is exactly like an AR-15 with sighting systems for close quarters/mid-range/or long-range. Both use a platform and both provide endless hours of switching things in and out in an infinite variety of combinations. See? So stop discriminating against the all-purpose AR just because of its looks. It hurts its feelings.
I do believe in sensible gun control though, which is this: Any actor or entertainer who has made an income from using a weapon in front of a film crew should be legally banned from having any opinion on gun politics whatsoever.
Right.